| Psychotherapy & Coaching |
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I’ve been watching the Netflix series “13 Reasons Why” recently (and at this point I should say spoilers) and it conveyed a lot of powerful messages and created a huge number of feelings for me, but the largest and most relevant to every one of us for me was:
your words and actions CAN affect others.
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Last night something terrible happened in Manchester and twenty-three people lost their lives, twenty-two of which weren’t expecting to. It was at a concert of somebody famous, but not somebody provocative or edgy. Twenty-two people went to a pop concert to have a good time and enjoy themselves and didn’t come out again.
I’ve seen this phrase being used a lot in advertising psychotherapy and the potential to change. To a degree it’s true, but I wonder if a better phrase would be the time to examine and consider change is now.
The other day I was working with a coaching client, and I was talking (I'd like to think some golden nugget of insightful wisdom) and when I paused to let him speak, he came out with the most unexpected line.
"Ben, I'm sorry, I drifted off then, into a daydream" Without confidentiality, it would be very difficult to build enough trust in the relationship between you and your therapists (or coach), so that you felt safe enough to talk about your deepest feelings. It can be hard enough making the decision to talk in the first place without the fear that someone else might find out about it.
The big push around communications skills is to encourage people to act authentically.
Except that's a paradox isn't it? In the same way as I've defined what inter-personal communication is, what do I mean by intra-personal communication?
Simply put, it's how you talk to yourself. I thought it useful, and prudent, to really define what I mean when I say inter-personal communication... as for me, while it's a simple phrase, and pretty much encapsulates half of what I do, there's a lot contained within it.
High level, it's about how one person puts across their message to another, and how that message is received. This is a very topical subject given the reaction from me, and many, towards the scripted answers given by the seven leaders in the only debate of this General Election.
I'm finding myself spending more time, and being drawn to, creatives. What defines being a creative? How can one become creative, and ultimately, what's the point?
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