When I talk of endings, I’m not just looking at negative ones, but also the positive ones. If you get a promotion at work, within the same team, do you ever bother commemorating the move? Yet in essence you have ended your past relationships, and will be starting new ones with the same people. Most of the time this will be hugely exciting, but the end of the old role will leave residual feelings that should be acknowledged. My last promotion saw me move less than ten feet; an email went round and that was that. But my old boss was now a peer, the banter I had with the guys I sat next to a thing of the past. Sure, we still chat when we work together, but the office dynamic that had been there has gone forever. I challenge even the most cold and stone hearted to not find that at least a little sad. There is the temptation to treat somebody’s resignation or move as the moment a sovereign dies, hailing the new monarch above remembering the old.
A few weeks ago I finished the classroom element of a certificate at Regents University, and I’m starting this blog rather than finishing off my essays. Why? I think to a large degree it’s fear as once I’ve done these essays, then the bonds and experience I had over ten very emotive weekends will truly have ended. The final day of the course was a lesson in how to end; we spent time talking about the beginning we’d had, reflected on our experiences and gave gifts to each other. Never again will we be that same group, and my procrastination is a desire to keep the relationships going, at least in my conscious mind.
A simple phrase is worth remembering; every ending creates a beginning, and every beginning creates an end. So to ignore endings is to ignore half of our experience. Worth bearing in mind isn’t it?